March Madness, Dean's Office Style!

 

 Everyone is very excited about their March Madness brackets and tried to get me to join in. I told them that a) I have NO interest in basketball, professional or college; and b) because of this lack of basic knowledge about the teams, I would be at a severe disadvantage in the pool and would inevitably lose money that I'd rather spend on things like tacos. Now, football play-off pools...that's a different story. ;)

Nikki Post: Friendship is Magic

For Christmas last year, I gave my niece a My Little Pony "doll" (Rainbow Dash, because my brother can be homophobic, and I like being "gay-friendly, feminist Aunt Nikki"). She basically lost her shit because a) she LOVES MLP, and b) I had managed to buy her favorite pony. (SCORE!) Nostalgic for my own childhood when I had an insane amount of ponies (and according to my mom, mine are still in the attic), I bought one for the white elephant gift exchange at Audra's party. As you may remember though, I wanted to keep the pony all to myself, and by threatening the lives of the other guests, I was able to keep Lyra Heartstrings (not one of the main ponies, apparently). She currently lives behind the business cards and Frida the philodendron on the main part of my desk.

Being badass in the skull (Dia de los muertos) bracelet Agnes gave me

Many people in the office laughed at my pony, and yet they enjoy playing with her hair and moving her around. As a front desk person, many people consider "my stuff" to be "everyone's stuff," since it's so out in the open. So I'm a bit sensitive about items on my desk being moved around/messed with. After a VERY stressful week, I went to pick up Lyra and comb her hair to calm down (because I'm a child, apparently). That was the first time all week that I had noticed she was missing.

I. Lost. My. Mind.

I flipped out on Tracy, demanding to know where the pony was. She said she didn't know. I asked if she knew who took it. She said yes, looking more and more terrified by the second as my eyes began to glow red with bloodlust and a deep river of rage that lives deep inside of me and that most people don't see. Then I started angry-crying, and she told me that Marshall had taken Lyra on his vacation as a joke because he thought I'd get a kick out of him treating her like I did Claire. Under normal circumstances, I would have LOVED this opportunity to update the blog with something silly that someone else did as an homage to my country-traveling armadillo. But the stressful week, the bubbling rage, the crying, and my sensitivity about my possessions made me angrier than amused. Had Marshall asked or, wanting to keep it a surprise, someone had mentioned it BEFORE Friday when I discovered it on my own, things would have been better. There were some apologetic emails that got sent around that weekend between Marshall, Tracy, and me, and eventually everything was settled and forgiven.

On Monday, Marshall brought in a stack of pictures that he and his wife Kelly had taken while on their vacation with the pony. He said that they had a lot of fun taking the pictures in different locations. Marshall especially liked it because the pony was just the right side to put in his coat pocket while skiing. He had gone old-school and taken pictures with a film camera and went through great lengths to make sure that he had everything printed before he came into work on Monday. So I apologize for the quality of the pictures; I can only do so much editing.

I'm sure that I'm compressing the actual time line a LOT. After all, Marshall was out for a whole week of mountain fun times. But since I didn't go with him, I don't really know what his itinerary was, and he's a busy guy, so sitting down for an "interview" isn't a possibility.

Everyone's favorite picture - Lyra makes her escape!

Marshall made sure that Lyra got to watch my team WIN THE SUPER BOWL!

 En route to Copper Mountain Ski Resort; this shot was taken on Freemont Pass between Copper and Leadville

The amenities at the condo in Frisco where they all stayed were pretty sweet:

A romantic fire place...

...festive Native American decorations...

...a large backyard area for playing in the snow...

...a hot tub!!!...

...and game night!

But the real reason why Marshall, Kelly, and Lyra drove up to the mountains was to ski. It's Marshall's favorite activity, but unfortunately, due to a recent knee injury, he's out for the rest of the season. It's really sad panda times. He said that Lyra was a real champ about having her picture taken in the cold temperatures and that she was easy to put in his ski jacket's pocket and take from place to place.

On the way to the ski slopes!

Behold, the majesty of the Colorado Rockies. (She's on Marshall's ski pole in this picture.)

At the top of Spaulding Bowl. Be careful, Lyra!

Riding on the ski lift to the top of the mountain, the only thing about skiing that I like. :p

Perfect powder for a day of skiing in the sunshine

Whew!! Ready to go back to the condo to warm up and relax!

What better way to relax than to head over to an old-time saloon, eat some good food, and drink some good beer? The family headed over to the Blue Spruce Saloon and Bar for dinner. Marshall and Kelly were joined by Kelly's nieces Charlie and Penny and Penny's friend. (Obviously the young girls did NOT partake of the saloon's fine spirits.)

Waiting for a table

Marshall said that Lyra got all of her drinks for free that day because she flirted heavily with all of the guys at the bar. And here I thought she was such a sweet, innocent little pony!

Finally got a table! Time to settle down and order some food to go along with all that beer.

Everyone thought it was great that Charlie's outfit matched Lyra's coloring! I've circled the pony for you so you can find her more easily on top of Charlie's hat.

Penny and her friend were also pretty stoked to have Lyra joining them for dinner. I mean, who doesn't like My Little Ponies?!

Don't do it, Lyra!! Nothing good can come from that much Jager!

Another day, the crazy party went to Woodward at Copper, a gym with all kinds of "extreme" sports type of things to do. Frankly, I'm mad jealous, as I've always wanted to do these sorts of things. Unfortunately, I'm terribly clumsy with an equilibrium problem, so doing things like skate boarding and leaping off of things into a giant box of foam might not be a good idea for me.

The foam bricks

This half pipe was at Copper, and according to Marshall, Lyra had a great time going down it and being all EXTREME!

A beautiful night in the mountains calls for a beautiful night...

...spending time in front of an outdoor fire. Don't get too close, Lyra! Remember, you're made of plastic and can melt! Ponies are pretty flammable.

Lyra returned to me in one piece, and I gave Marshall official permission to take her on his next vacation, wherever that may be. He said everyone had fun finding photo-ops for her and it was a good way for the group to have fun together. Perhaps Lyra will get to see as many places as Claire someday!

Spring has Sprung!

The dean's office is so happy that Spring is finally here! Unfortunately, the weather hasn't figured out what Spring is supposed to feel like. Denver AND Baltimore (and other places) have been COVERED in snow. Many people are mad at Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog scapegoat who predicted an early spring this year. I, however, am of the belief that Groundhog Day is stupid (the holiday, not the awesome movie with Bill Murray). A rodent doesn't care about its shadow, much less predict the weather by staring at it. That's why I celebrated Prairie Dog Day this year at PCC. It's the "Groundhog Day of the West." So don't blame Phil for the late spring; blame climate change. :p

Nikki Post: Office Valentines

Hey y'all. I'm doing a quick photo dump from some pics on my phone I've been meaning to post. Tomorrow should be a quiet day too, so I'll FINALLY get to post a story about the adventures of a My Little Pony doll that went skiing for the weekend with my coworker Marshall and his wife Kelly.

For now, here's the office white board about Valentine's Day:

Bruce Willis was originally holding two guns, but that's not very "public healthy," so someone (probably my boss) changed it to a copy of the Second Amendment. Steve and I saw A Good Day to Die Hard on VDay, and honestly? It was the best movie I've seen in theatres since last year, which I think is the last time I saw a movie in theatres. It was everything I wanted from a Die Hard movie: explosions, Bruce Willis defying the laws of time, physics, gravity, and Russia, Chernobyl, attractive men not wearing shirts, silly puns, and the phrase "Yippie Kai Yay Mother F*cker" at the most perfect time in the film. If you enjoy the franchise and don't have a stick up your butt about a film's "plot" or "quality" or "continuity," I highly recommend seeing this latest beast of a film.

Creatures of the Night

I was in the mood to feature night animals and other silly things on the white board at work. This wasn't a terribly popular subject, so I've suggested that Lyndsay be in charge of choosing the next topic.

I started us off with the howling coyote on the right side of the board. There are a lot of coyotes in my area; we heard some fighting & squealing late at night last week on the Cherry Creek Trail. There's a Batman-looking jewel thief/cat burglar and a singing, howling cat a la Garfield. Twila, who works in one of our school's centers, drew the jar full of fireflies. I have no idea who drew the black widow spider, but as an arachnophobe, I must admit that it makes me uncomfortable.

On the second white board, my owl flies over everyone, hunting for food. The Sasquatch (Carol's) roars to scare away hunters. (I don't understand the quote: "I saw a werewolf @ Trader Vicks & his hair was perfect.") I committed copyright infringement with my doodle of Mike from "Monsters, Inc." Anne was supposed to draw the bats, but Kevin beat her to it.

Nikki Post: Fall Fest

Autumn WAS in the air in Denver - chilly nights that smelled of wood fires, bright leaves scattered on the ground, slightly gloomy days with the sun peeking through just when you need it to most - but lately the temperature's been in the high-70s, which is awesomely ridiculous. The leaves are DEFINITELY prettier than they were last year, and today is blustery as all get-out. Inside the dean's office though, we were celebrating all things autumn on our white board.

Few things say "autumn" like falling aspen leaves and a scarecrow (that isn't very scary). Judith, one of our associate deans, disliked the orange marker we originally had. It was too dried out for the pumpkin she wanted to draw. Luckily, our friend Twila in one of the school's centers bequeathed her orange marker to us so we could have our pumpkin. (I could NOT find a single orange marker on our online office supplier website! Ridiculous.)

Teri joined the party and drew the basket of apples (with an adorable worm coming out of one). Mmmm....cider....

Anthony once again added his artistic talents to the white board by drawing a...gonna go with witch? Calling for help? Regardless, we're very happy to have him in our drawing group.

Kevin drew the corn maze, which is fantastic as always. I've yet to do a corn maze this year, although there IS one on my "bucket list": a corn maze in the shape of Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning. If I'm gonna do a corn maze, I'm gonna "go big or go home."

And then I drew a demonic-looking squirrel stealing an apple.

The other side of our fall fest is more of a scene than a motley assortment of fall figures. Here we find Tracy (the blond in the pink scarf) warming her hands with me (in the purple scarf) by a campfire. I think the tree looks awful, but Tracy said that several people complimented how good it looked. (She's a good friend.) A spooky ghost tried to haunt us, but luckily, one of the Ghostbusters arrived to bust him.

...and then there's the football. Making fun of Tim Tebow is a favorite pastime for some of us in the office, mainly because he's such an easy target. (Although he probably couldn't even throw to himself if he were his own target. BOOM!) Pretty sure Marshall drew this, although it could also be Shawn. Neither is particularly good at adding to our white board themes in any relevant way. ;p

Our finished masterpiece

Nikki Post: We're All A Bunch of Clowns Here

The number of people in the office who participate in the white board game is growing. We recently got Anthony, our Director of Finance, to draw something, small though it may be. Teri, the dean's executive assistant, suggested the theme of "circus," and as usual, my coworkers and I went wild.

We start our tour of the circus outside the big top, along the midway where a sword swallower does his thing, and a bird (penguin?) rides a mama elephant while baby tags along. Kevin drew the elephants, and everyone was really, REALLY impressed with his skills. Seriously, look at that baby elephant. How cute is it?!

Once inside, the crowd (those dots) were treated to a stunning display of activities, all apparently happening at once. High above the crowd, and performing without a net (!), an acrobatic band of brothers twirls and swings through the air, their every move highlighted by spotlights. (I mentioned to Teri that I realized too late that, practically speaking, all of these acrobats except the one standing on the platform would probably die because it didn't look like they'd be able to catch one another, but Teri assured me that it was just a matter of perspective and that everything would work out okay in the end.)

A man elegantly dressed in a blue top hat and blue velvet pants tames a lion, perhaps in preparation to stick his head inside its mouth. (Yes, that's a lion. I'm not a good artist. We've established this.) Behind them, Lyndsay's cotton candy treats tempt one and all. A giant tub of popcorn, large enough to feed the whole crowd and the circus performers too, waits for someone to drown in its fluffy, buttery goodness.

Anthony's aforementioned contribution is the floating, radiating clown head hovering over the crowd. I think it's supposed to be the Jack-in-the-Box mascot, but it looks like some kind of terrifying mind-control device, no doubt operated by none other than...

...DAVID HASSELHOFF, THE MANIACAL CLOWN!! With this "episode" on the white board, David's time as a recurring character came to an end. (Tracy insisted.) David chose to go out in style, in a clown car no doubt overstuffed with Baywatch babes and rabid German fans.

Nikki Post: Pool Party in the Office!

Another great theme for the office white boards: POOL PARTY!!

The deep end of the swimming pool

• Concession stands are an important part of any community pool. Kids can buy candy and get themselves jacked up on sugar, and adults can buy hot dogs and eat their frustrations away with nitrate-flavored tubes of meat.
• I'm a bit worried that the diver will hit his head on the diving board if he doesn't get enough distance while jumping into the pool, but the judges seem to approve of his form. (Except for that damn, judgy Russian judge.)
• Marshall added David Hasselhoff to the picture, much to Tracy's annoyance and horror. However, I overrode her veto, as he IS an appropriate thing one would see at a pool.
• That red thing is a pair of swimming trunks...

The shallow end of the pool

• The general consensus of the office is that Cookie Monster is a MUCH better life guard that Mr. Hasselhoff. While David flexes his muscles and checks out girls in bikinis, Cookie is actually paying attention to the people who are swimming in his area. Well...
• ...Cookie has apparently missed the fact that there is a shark (or something that looks suspiciously like a shark) in the shallow end of the pool...
• ...which is really unfortunate for the guy who doesn't know that his bottoms are floating on the other side of the pool.
• That square thing in the back is a hot tub. I was going to drive a fat, hairy guy wearing gold chains sitting in there next to some pretty blonde girls in bikinis, but that was way too complicated for a white board.
• The lady with the vicious sunburn has obviously never read Dr. Lori Crane's research on skin cancer and tanning. Dr. Crane is one of the professors at the School, and Lyndsey felt it was important that people understand that this woman on our white board was not representative of the employee's feelings on sun-tanning. (For the record though, the only reason she's red is because Kevin was hogging the brown marker at the time.)

The finished product!

Nikki Post: Git Along Little Dogies!

Tracy and I have decided to make drawing on her white boards an "official" team-building exercise to boost office morale. We've come up with a few themes that we think will be fun for people to draw, and we've added more colors to the marker collection. Our last theme was "Wild West," and after a period where no one quite knew what to draw, our scene exploded with dancing ladies, a covered wagon, and a robbery.

These were my contributions to the scene. Here you can find Dirty Harry (in his signature poncho) robbing a gold prospector. This may be out of character for Harry, but seriously, if YOU saw a guy with that much gold, wouldn't you rob him too? Rowdy is a "buffalo" (actually a bison, per the PCC, but we'll let this one slide) that is the mascot of the University of Colorado. Tracy has a stuffed Rowdy in her desk area, so I attempted to draw this majestic beast. Obviously, the drawing was awful, so I drew wings on her and left it.

The more elaborate second half of our scene. I added the graveyard because I'm creepy like that. You'll find our town's reluctant sheriff, saloon dancer with a heart of gold, homesteaders, and the mine from which my prospector hit it rich in this photo. We are obviously not concerned with artistic things like "perspective" in our drawings because let's face it, it's hard to draw really intricate things on a white board.

The completed scene

Nikki Post: Worktime Silliness

While we wait for Claire to "be inspired" (her words) to write about her recent adventures camping near Pike's Peak, here's a little filler entry that shows how silly my workplace is.

My friend Tracy is the HR liaison for our office/school. She has a small whiteboard on the wall by her desk. My boss Lyndsey had taken to drawing pretty pictures on there to cheer up the office and because drawing on whiteboards is incredibly fun. Well, others in the office started joining in and creating very elaborate scenes on this 1' x 6" (approximately; I have no concept of size) whiteboard. Obviously, something needed to be done, and as the only person in the office in charge of ordering office supplies, I stepped up and purchased a second, larger whiteboard "to boost office morale." Finally, we had enough room for our elaborate scenes!

The inaugural theme for the new duo-whiteboard combo was "under the sea." I started us off by drawing what was soon interpreted as being inspired by The Incredible Mr. Limpet. However, I was actually aiming for the drawing to look like Pete the fish, a stuffed animal that Tracy keeps on her desk.

As you'll see from the photos of our finished drawing below, my drawing of Pete wasn't too far off from its source material. The Nemo I had originally drawn, however, was shameful and made people think it was some kind of floating trash debris. :p

• It's a well-known fact that elephants love to swim.
• Fun fact: The turtle was originally attacking some fish, but we declared it "too morbid" and erased the carnage.
• The seagulls in the corner are obviously inspired by the ones in Finding Nemo.

• Note my AWESOME drawing of Pete the fish in the middle there.
• The Siamese fighting fish in the corner is what took the place of my hideous Nemo drawing.
• Another Finding Nemo reference is in this picture. Can you find it?
• I forget why we have Cookie Monster in this picture, but he'll probably show up in more of our drawings.
• There's one more pop culture reference in this picture. What is it?