Saturday, February 18, 2012

Hugs & Hisses, or "Hisses & Kisses" as Nikki Kept Calling It

For Valentine's Day, the Denver Museum of Nature & Science hosted "Hugs & Hisses," an event for adults after hours that showcased their new Lizards and Snakes exhibit. They were gonna serve booze and talk about SNAKE SEX and let grown-ups walk through the exhibit without a bunch of kids running around screaming and hogging all the best space to look at the reptiles. It sounded like a GREAT TIME, so OF COURSE Nikki wasn't originally going to bring me. ;p But she tweeted to the Museum and asked if I could go, since I'm "underage." After linking to this blog to clear up who I was, whoever tweets for the Museum said that I should totally go, so Nikki brought me along. And it's a good thing she did because....I GOT RECOGNIZED BY A BLOG READER!!! OMG, it was so exciting! We were hanging out towards the end of the event, and this guy came up to Nikki and me and said that he had discovered the blog through Nikki's friend Jared's blog A Bad Case of the Dates, and could he get a picture with me because "it's not everyday I meet a celebrity." [Note from Nikki: ABCOTD is a great blog, and a lot of fun to read, but long-term following WILL cause you to lose faith in humanity. Just a warning.]
My fan!! His name is Terrence, and he's absolutely awesome. :)

Now, y'all may remember that I'm a big fan of snakes, especially as I have two snake sisters and a snake brother living at home with me. So I was pretty excited to be able to go to see the exhibit, as best expressed in these pictures below:

And me with my "brother" Alejandro:
(Sorry it's blurry. Steve is TERRIBLE at taking pictures.)

I was heartbroken to discover that we couldn't take pictures inside the actual exhibit. There were SO MANY photo opportunities! Like the emerald tree monitor who was named "Nikki"! Or the GIANT anaconda! Or the tank full of geckos! But alas, no photos were allowed in the exhibit. So just take my word for it: you NEED to visit this exhibit. :) However, they have a photo booth where you can get your picture taken with Bo, the giant python. Nikki and I took TWO photos in the photo booth:

After strolling through the exhibit a few times and taking in all the lizards, snakes, and facts about reptiles, we watched a performance about all the different ways that reptiles show THA LAYDEEZ that they're ready for sexy times. The emcee asked the crowd, "Ok, I need two guys who want to impress the ladies," and Lisa called out, "Why can't *I* impress the ladies?!" Everyone laughed, and both volunteers turned out to be women: Lisa and another young lady. Their reptile foreplay action was FLEXING:

"Quick! Get a veterinarian! Those pythons are SICK!"

They then impressed the ladies by doing push-ups, which apparently, super-cute little lizards do. Lisa was in a skirt, so push-ups were a bit impractical. The other woman did the push-ups...then someone pointed out that her blouse was hanging a bit low and, ah...providing a very different kind of show for the audience.

Fun Science Fact: Reptiles do NOT have mammaries!

We ended the presentation with a conga line, presumably to demonstrate how snakes shake their rattles and get all twisty and dance-y to attract mates. Or just because making adults dance in a conga line after drinking booze is funny.

Casey and Nikki shake what the Good Lord gave 'em.


Us and the emcee, who was showing off his dewlap. Rowr!!

We also attended a lecture (a.k.a. "World's Largest PowerPoint") in the Imax theatre about reptile sex. 
The scientist leading the lecture was SO AWKWARD! You could tell he wasn't used to talking about this particular topic in front of so many people. We couldn't help but giggle. And when one of his slides was a close-up of a reptile's hemipenes (male genitalia), you better believe every "adult" in that place took a picture of it and posted it to their fave social networking site! (Including Nikki)

After the lecture, we bummed around for a while and met some of the animals that the Humane Society brought in.

Casey makes a friend!

Steve contemplates fostering a python. Because why not have even more snakes?!

I have NO IDEA why there was a stuffed capybara at the reptile event. It was on a table with a bunch of other dead, taxidermied rodents and bugs. Steve says that the display was of animals that snakes eat for food. I said, "Well then, what the hell is a capybara doing there?!" Steve pointed out that an anaconda could eat one, but they don't live in the same place. So...guess it's still a mystery.

All in all, it was a great night with awesome people, cool reptiles, and an EXTENSIVE cheese buffet!


  1. I hate to break it to you, Nikki, but I think what Steve is contemplating in that picture is not the python, but instead the pretty lady holding the python. We both know that Steve has a thing for pretty ladies, which is why he's going out with you!

    1. Agnes, why you gotta troll my blog? ;p The only pretty ladies Steve contemplates are me, Audra, you, and Alyson Hannigan.

  2. My name is Terrence and it was an honor to meet you!
    Did you know there are Gnomes hidden in that museum? I know your eyesight is poor, you could sniff them out possibly. Link provided at the bottom of the post.