After-Christmas Christmas Party!

Sorry this is going to be out of chronological order. At this point, I just want to get SOMETHING from our SUPER-FUN visit home to Baltimore for Christmas up on the blog so you can enjoy it!

Nikki's friend (and Maid of Honor) Audra hosts an after-Christmas party every year. She makes a ton of food, offers a ton of beverage options, and coordinates a White Elephant gift exchange. This year's gift theme was "Cartoons for Christmas." Everyone had to bring something that had to do with cartoon characters, new or classic. Steve's sister (and bridesmaid) Sam came along this year, which was super fun. She and Steve didn't have time to shop for gifts for the exchange, so Nikki bought gifts on their behalf. Oh Lord...

The loot!!

I'll take this one please!

Steve, a.k.a. "Stinja," looks on in amused horror at the weird gifts

Zack, his lady love Stephanie, and her sister Kim acted as a team and ended up all getting Transformers stuff with the odd Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle toy thrown in. Turns out, making Transformers these days is TOUGH!!

A RARE picture of Audra's boyfriend Tim. As you can see, he's thrilled to get his Transformers toy too.

Tia (bridesmaid!) ended up with a two-part gift. Part one: Super Mario Brothers fruit snacks!

Part two: A matching Super Mario Brothers fleece blanket!

Her husband Jon (best man!) coincidentally (the gifts were originally wrapped) chose a DVD of the Super Mario Brothers TV show! (That's how you know it's true love.)

Stinja was excited to get the special-edition Finding Nemo DVD!

Stinja's girlfriend Julie "won" a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tee shirt and Family Guy boxer shorts (not pictured)

Samantha ended up choosing the gift that Nikki had bought on her behalf. A 47-piece Toy Story puzzle, you say?! Magnificent!

Steve TOTALLY nerded out when he opened his gift to find he'd gotten an Iron Man mask and a Captain American shield (that shoots darts, although not effectively).

Evan chose the gift that Nikki had bought on Steve's behalf. When he tried to guess what his wrapped gift was by shaking it, he asked, "Did you buy a box of rocks?" Everyone had a good laugh when they saw that the gift was actually a box of cereal with cartoon mascot Tony the Tiger on it.

Audra, seen here looking possessed, chose a Hong Kong Phooey doll that Stinja had chosen to purchase. The cartoon drawing she's holding was done by Stinja!

Nikki, seen here looking deranged, chose the gift she'd bought for the party. Turns out, she REALLY wanted a My Little Pony doll, perhaps to relive her childhood. Stinja tried to "steal" the gift during the exchange part, but she threatened him with bodily harm, so he just let her have it.

After the gift exchanged, we played Cards Against Humanity, which is a dirtier version of Apples to Apples. Nikki ended up winning, perhaps because she has the filthiest mind.

Lyra Heartstrings awaits the game

Nikki Post: Paper Moon Diner

I flew home to Baltimore last weekend to be a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding. Claire will be telling you ALL about our trip in the coming days, but while she's distracted by watching Being Elmo on Netflix, I thought I'd sneak on and update about a trip I went on without her. (Don't tell!)

That Friday I spent the day with my dear friend Agnes, who recently hit her third decade of life on this planet. (Happy birthday!) To celebrate, I took her to lunch at Paper Moon Diner in Baltimore, one of my favorite, hip, overpriced restaurants in the city. (Warning, the website has loud music when you first enter, so turn down your speakers!) I first went to P-Moon when I was 17 or so and my friend Chuck suggested we go there late one night during the summer. The thrill of going someplace in the wee hours of the morning and goofing around in such a wacky environment was wonderful for my almost-an-adult self. For years, it seemed that every time I went to the diner, no matter how late or early in the day or night, I'd run into someone I know or who knew me through a series of "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" kind of steps. (Also know as the "Smalltimore" effect.) I once went there my sophomore year of college and sat next to an African-American man in his 50s who knew of me through a high school ex-boyfriend he was in a bicycling collective with! The effect has worn off in recent years (and thank God, because most often, the people I saw at Paper Moon were people I didn't want to see!), but the diner remained one of my top spots to take people from out of town. Steve and I actually had our first date of sorts there the night we met. <3

Paper Moon is mostly a diner but also mostly an ever-evolving work of art. While many of the collages and pieces you can see in these pictures have been around for the decade or so I've been a patron, many new pieces are added all the time at the expense of others. My favorite (not pictured) is a mannequin located in the gender-neutral restroom on the first floor. Nothing quite like trying to pee while a bald, mostly-naked mannequin stares at you!

View from our table, looking up and towards the back of the diner

View from our table, looking up and facing the main entrance of the diner

Near the bar area, upon first entering the restaurant. The table right in front there is where Steve and I sat on that fateful night we met one another. <3 <3

This lovely lady is at the cashier's station, next to a disembodied hand covered in pennies.

I had meant to bring Claire along on this particular excursion, but Thursday night was the first night in TWO WEEKS that I had slept through the night, and I ended up running late for what was supposed to be a *brunch* with Aggiebell. In my rush to get out the door, I left Claire tangled in my bedsheets. No matter, because Agnes and I found a way to represent Claire in spirit:

So if you've found this blog via the little note we left at the Paper Moon Diner on March 9, 2012, please leave a comment and let me know! It'd be nice to know that someone read our little love letter.

All of the tables and chairs at Paper Moon are repurposed furniture, and our table happened to have a "secret" drawer in it on Agnes's side. Over the years, I've sat at such tables, and patrons had always left little notes inside for others to find. Finally, Paper Moon compiled these notes into a binder so everyone could share their adventures.

Agnes and I left our own note to mark such a momentous occasion:

Once done with our meal (I had the bananas foster French toast; Agnes had a black bean and avocado quesadilla), Agnes and I took silly pictures outside of the restaurant.

Agnes is a total groupie for mostly-naked dudes riding bareback on cows.

I'm trying to do my best impression of the mannequin behind me and failing spectacularly.

Every restaurant should be required to have an adorable elephant statue on its roof. Think of how much easier it would be to give directions! "Oh, it's the one with the purple elephant on the roof. No, you're thinking of Taco Bell; their elephant is red and white."

Signs you're an art school kid: you're walking the streets with a shopping cart full of mannequin legs. Sign you're from a big city: you're walking around with said shopping cart, and no one is looking at you like you're a freak.

An ALARMING Metaphor

What is WITH you English-speaking humans and your ability to come up with the most ALARMINGLY inappropriate metaphors?! While I was Googling myself yesterday (don't act like you don't do this), I found this article towards the top of the front page. Horrified, I clicked the link, and it turns out, they were just talking about some jerk filming an open forum meeting at a library or something. I tried Googling the phrase "armadillo on fire" to find its etymological origins, but all I found were some upsetting videos on YouTube and more links to the above blog post.

I certainly hope that their Claire the armadillo wasn't harmed in the writing of their sensationalist story.

Denver Zoo, Part Three: Bears and Tigers and Lions OH MYYY!!!

A marvel of the zoo engineering world (for its time), Bear Mountain is a great place to check out ursines in a habitat that sorta resembles what you'd find in the wild. See this helpful sign for more information:

There were two types of bears at the exhibit. The first were Asiatic black bears, and they looked GOOFY (not that I'd ever say that to their faces!). I mean, look at the big flaps of skin and fur they have on the sides of their heads! How can they move around with all that extra weight?

Kinda reminded me of the human kids who add those huge spacers to their earlobes. They just looked silly.

The other kind of bears hanging out at Bear Mountain are the grizzlies. Some of you may know that one of my besties is a grizzly (or brown) bear named Cocoabob.

This is her chillin' with Nikki's friend Ashleigh. Cocoabob is quite the ladies' bear, if you catch my drift. (Fun fact: She was named after Bob Marley.)

Anyway, so I'm a fan of grizzlies, because I've found that most of them are just as chill and quirky as Cocoabob. The two at the zoo def weren't chill; they kept pacing back and forth, like they were waiting for someone to show up. Nikki said that this happens with animals in the zoo; their cages/habitats aren't big enough, so they get all restless. It had me wishing that Cocoabob was there; SHE could find a way to calm then down QUICK, especially since her favorite method of relaxing is legal here in Denver (with a prescription). ;)

I never realized how BIG tigers actually are til I saw one "up close." I mean, this tiger could probably snort me up its nose whole and not even have a problem breathing!

However, regardless of their size or where in the world they live, cats are all the same. They're only good at sleeping and eating. Hell, do you know how many pictures on Facebook there are of Tasha sleeping in this exact position?! She'd get along with the tigers really well, I bet.

Okay, so this next picture is really the only reason this particular blog entry exists; the rest is just filler. We were walking back to the zoo entrance, and we passed the lions. We got there just in time to see the King of the Jungle...ah...*ahem*...prove that he really was the king.

Caaaan you feeeelll the loooove tonight? *giggles*

He finished up pretty quickly. (Isn't that always the way, ladies? *giggles*)

While his mate when back to sleep, unimpressed, Mr. Lion gave a few roars to let all the spectators (a bunch of confused kids and their giggling parents) know that he was a TOUGH BRUTE MAN!

PS: The Denver Zoo has some SKINNY lions!! They ought to let them come over to our place for dinner sometime. Nikki'll fatten them up!

BONUS PICTURE!!

Me with a snake. I took this picture because one of the newest members of my family is Lady Josephine, Duchess of Ssssoutherland, a king boa constrictor.